Slumber Party

I was excited to sleep next to him for the first time...
I woke up beaming but still with closed eyes and to my surpirse...
    He's on the phone plotting to get between another set of thighs.
      and I said nothing. I just layed their cold hurt and silent...

The more this hapen the deeper the cracks in my heart became.
                           But I LOVE YOU SO...
I stayed.

I patched my cracks and craters with prayer.
I stuffed myself with content, but to muc of anything could be fatal.

Are you worth my sanity?
                           Is LOVE worth my sanity.
When searching for advice friends just get mad at me for letting this tragedy of a MAN mutate me...
Once ANYTHING is broken it will never be the same!

Youhave broken me many times...
I don't know who I am anymore.

I cut my hair thinking it would grab your attention since loving you didn't.
I push my titties up and out since ME loving you didn't keep your attention...
I HATE you since loving you didn't keep your attention!!!

Why, for you, am I repenting.

                           I AM EMPTY!

You used all of my resources...

I can't teach you how to love me...
But who wants to love nothing...

You handed me what looked like a cracked guarantee but was only a broken promised superglued together...

Dedicated to the LOVE OF MY LIFE...

You know how to make shit look like flowers "/

You handed me what I thought was a crack guarantee but was really a broken promise superglue together!

...I feel. For you...by LaWanda Stallworth

...Hard shiny plastic...
A whole clan of them!
Pink streaks and tutu's;
With their tatas exposed.
None of them over 18yrs old...
They were coming from their first nicki minaj show...(sigh)

This bitch is single handedly Making you daughters believe that moving mechanically is normal
Inflating their assas with chemical gases...
Lips shiny like plastic
Cold like plastic
Imitating a black girl who wants to be plastic...
Barbie...

Not like lauryn...erykah...or jill..
Not like floetry, maya, latifah, alicia...
not like Salt, pepper, or spindarella..
Not like mary j...chaka...

I feel for you barbies...

X-factor, we can take a window seat or even a long walk. Say yes and rise phenominal woman! do the unthinkable and rock who you are...love without a limit....I feel for you...

Memory...

I ran to him...I had nowhere else to go
        And surely he was there
And so I went!
HE knows me; before I became this...
Weak individual forcing myself through each day
Who's price am I paying?
         He knows that I get lonely
         Even when I'm with you...
I release the furstrations, passion, hate, love truths...me before him...
He picks up my scarred broken pieces.
Polishes them with his heart and mind and missed touch....hands me back to you...beautiful again...unselfish...
I am not worthy of thanking him...
For I do not deserve him...
But I need him...To survive you!

I ignore your lies with his truths.
He's my candle in this dark space...
He's my amazing grace...when I kiss you his lips I taste...       he's my second whole. My partner, my dream....he lives in me...
He is who you were...
He is a memory....

She breaks down...

"...and so she writes at night...her tears take flight...with all of her might she tries not to...but she breaks down...in pieces she falls...her heart too scarred to crumble..."

Masterpiece

Painting the perfect picture of a masterpiece life...whiting out all impurities...curing me...using my brush to eliminate u...my masterpiece is done...ur now just a purple and blue smudge...

A singer saved me by miss star

Neck sway in a way to instant doze
Music
My song
Music creep up my spine
Intwine with the inner minds to the voices I and this head share!
We are here screaming this poem in unison
Pleasing this stressed brain.
Take her away we chant to God.
Scream songs of freedom. Burst eardrums oozing liquid joy pearl jam into the depts of my emotion our emotions...janis miss janis saved me!

Lonely

Walking alone in a world full of familiar face
Marching in different paces
My mind's shoelaces are causeing me to stumble
Mentally breaking down
Crumble
Words are nolonger humble
Sinister mumbles grumble under my thounderous anger
Emotionless monster crying without a sound
Rawrless
A pain so profound has paralized me
Stuck in a heart with no love
Mind without thought
Tears without cry...
Knowing truth, but constantly being fed lies
This is transforming my being
Changing me...
Blossoming through disaster
While you were living
I was just EVOLVING!
You won't miss me or even care to even get to know the new me
But I can't help but ask " is someone miss me?..."
Human influences drag me to care
Evolution stregthens me to move on...
Infinity and Beyond...

Forgiveness By Miss Star

I'ts so hard for me to explain what I would do to prove to you I love you! I would grab your hand and guide you through darkness. All you fears, for you, ill embark them. If you were king I'll be your Cleopatra for you could lead me. You can have me! I would full fill all you fantasies. I'm changing who I am because the old me wasn't ready. This day I vow to do things right, starting tonight. I don't want to put disgrace in your sight so starting now my loyalty will jump heights! I have come too close of you saying goodbye. It felt like I was falling and about to die. I can be your wife and stand beside the man you are. You are my star from a far and I want to love you hard core. Please believe me when I say from now on I'm yours always. All the non sense and playing around has became played out. Just see how I am trying now. All the distractions they can happen but my being won't be near them. This isn't a promise because they are crafted for failure. These are commandments ill live by them. So let forget about the past and its shattered promises. Let grab our future and brighten it...

FUCK SPELL chk

He's Like By: LaWanda "miss star" Stallworth

He's like fire he burns my inner embers. He's like the rain he cools my inner anger.he's like my blaze my energy my light. He's like morning with a smile as bright as the morning sun. He's like the moon with a mind bright and sweet like honey buns. He like the night with his dark mysteriousness. He's like so powerful like his presence devourers you and his voice paralyzes you. I golden't image anybody else over power who he is. Damn he's like zues and I'm mother earth I wanna have his kids!!! We are like the earth I'm the land he the ocean every time he touches me I get wet. He's like my doctor feel good; I'm always in perfect health because of him. I'm like a remote without batteries I lose control he defies gravity. I wish I was a wall and he was the nail so he could hammer me. I'm like a feen I go crazy when I can't have him when I do I just grab him and never let go because I will never get enough of him. I know I'm crazy for feeling like this daily but if I was a baby he'd be my pacifier, buts that's A different story. I'm giving him his glory and I hope that surely he feels half this for me, because if he does my work I have put in this complete.

SHE by:LaWanda "Miss Star" Stallworth

He was beautiful, she would do anything for him. Go to court show up on time for him. Go to trial won't drop a dime on him. When he's  down she'll wine and dine him. She would hold and console him? Be brave and bold for him. Physically she satify mentally she magnifies,spiritually glorify, she constantly keeps his best in mind. Any situation he gets hisself in she gets him out that's one thing her love was about. She would never lie to him. She would ride or die for him. His laast name she wanted to gain even with all the mental strain. His girls he went to when he wanted a girl but he knew she was the REAL WOMAN in his world. No one understood what she saw in that man, she knew what she saw in her heart and no man, or woman can take them apart!

Teenage Heartbreak By Miss Star

i feel as if i can not trust no one

u treat me like what has happen u never done.

talk down like im not around, u walk by and frown.

my emotions u stomp to the ground.

when will my happyness be found.

maybe when im nolonger around

Internal Battle by miss star

I'm trying 2 convince my heart that it's over
but every time I try my mind jumps in and pushes me 2 try 1 more time
My gut i can't follow dats why I'm in this war now
My conscious says tell love how u feel
but love doesn't love me anymore!..............
I try letting letting it go but my soul Perseus me 2 hold on
My intuition says try your hardest 2 convince love that ur the 1- 2 make life complete
But love doesn't love me anymore!....................
I try screaming at my heart,mind, gut, conscious, soul, and intuition that it's over!!!
but I cant get through to them
I'm being out numbered in a war of internal battles!
I try 2 let then know what i think I know and that is that love doesn't love me
anymore. Love has made his decision to go to the other, but my battles won't let me give up when I know that it's over.
Love u don't love me anymore or do you????..................

Damn remember feelin like this

A heart deprived of love can forget want it feels like
so wen it presents itself it doesnt look right!
it is unfamiliar and unreal to the eye,
panic sometimes comes which causes you to chase it goodbye.
but true L.O.V.E. wont give up on whats meant to be.
it will hold on to the deprive heart and feed it the lolve it needs.
True love will focus on the holes in a wounded heart and feel it with the love that was snatched away fom it. True love will open eyes and rejuvanate the soul. True love is a blessing that once is recognized; you dont let go...


4 u who took mii love
&
4 u who showed me a new L.O.V.E.

I felt you in my soul..by Miss Star

I felt you in my soul. I felt you in places that ....

I never thought had emotion....

Our bodies flowing like rough oceans....

Coasting crashing into one another. ....

You gave me the power to see sound. I felt light. ....

You opened my soul and released the truth within me.....

I became instantly afraid because the perfectness I was feeling was overwhelming ....

And I still feel it. After you left I played with the thought of you being there....

When I wake up holding me when I look up and my heart is searching for your essence. ....

I heard you in my dreams. ....

The night fell upon wit unexpected urgency. ....

My hands feeing to touch you again and now I need you.....

I need the thought of you to think simple things....

I need the thought of you so my daily issues can go away…....

I need you like air and water…. I felt you ….....

Every since then I need you…....

You are the first to instantly touch my soul…....

Forgive Me... By MIss Star

I have come to a place I am not comfortable being so...I have decided to leave. I want you to be happy with my choice but if you are not...forgive me. I am strong so I need to walk alone.
I have become accustomed to fluster with conflict of the heart but...this time...I have conviction. This time I know what's best.
I no longer rest so my mind isn't at its best and yet I know this is what's causing my stress. Us at our best wasn't good enough for you so what makes you think that after the trust was broken and all hope was lost that us staying together wouldn't walk. Forgive me giving up and being so blunt.

Yes I am asking YOU for forgiveness. Look past what all I have stood here and told you and see yourself in my words.....see how the truth was never curved and how the facts stood tall and in the front. You can't see your self in my truth. You are not the root of the problem but the water that nourishes it. So I am sorry I had to be the woman to stand and tell you the ugly, horrible, piercing truth! So forgive me this once against the million times I have forgiven you...

Born

Sun beaming, children screaming, dominoes slamming, gangsters walking their pits.
Then suddenly from around the corner she dips...
Right Left Right Left
Her stride screaming confidence, power respect.
Strong strides that's ignorant brains didn't expect... her to have.
She was walking through whistles and shouts and comments, but her stride overpowered each with the power of a
Trillion comets.
Baby! Damn! Hey Lil momma! None of these are her name so her stride remains.
Right Left Right Left
Don't step in her way...you will get trampled by what she holds.
Her stride!
No need to stop and re lace her pace because women never come undone.
Pride stood deep in her stride.

She sucked in the power of the sun in her skin and inhaled the essence of mother earth and became her relegation.
With a God given choreographed stride.
Right Left
Never missing a step closer to her distination.
Right Letft
Consisted without thought
Right Left
Rigght Left...
She was...
She is...
I...
You...
Us...
She is what we all can be

Enlightenment (a high mind)

Cords smashing at the speed of light
Sound breaks down.
Light dims so enlightenment can appear.
Shatter the door to closed minds, hiding insecurities, selfishness, cowardness and shame forever.
Open!
Open like the mouth of the nile at the last mile running head on with thought.
Thinking while jamming tupac.
Humming a bob marley.
Reading Erykah Badu lyrics.
Painting revolutions through oceans of color captureing the moment.
Remembering none of this afterwards.
Words make more sense then the meaning.
Seeing the perfect answer to the hardest question
Free mental has hit you!
The herd has opened your third eye.
You see the revolution.
Rebel through you cloud of original scents.
You feel like a brain child of albert einstien and edgar allen poe...
Flower child blossom....float....ascend....
PUFF PUFF PASS......

To Unknow From Anonymous

this was for you before i knew you
To Unknown from Anonymous
By: LaWanda Stallworth
Dear unknown,
I have been lookingforward of entwining my heart with your mind. I want to fall in love with the way you think. I want you to love the fact that I love your genius. Beautiful Under the ultimate stress of everyday life. Love is the beginning of what I want to feel for you. I want my empty emotion to explode beginning of what I want to feel for you. I want my empty emotion to explode with you dynamite impact of unexpected trust. Release yourself and let go of all your thoughts and dream to me and let my absorb you. Where are you? Map out a quest so when I find you the thrill would be more thrilling like when the rollercoaster is about to drop and your sitting at the very top. A pedestal is what I hold the thought of being with you is on, so imagine what level I would hold you on… Unknown like the end of the universe and the center of a black hold. I want to hold you in the face of fear. I want to look impossible in the eye for you and confuse it. I want to hold you and connect our life lines so we can expand our lifetime. Unknown come to me. Follow the Lonely rhythm of my heart. And once you find it, Treasure it like I will treasure you. Unknown come to me. Be part of me like my mind and soul…u see those are things the once my physical is gone it will still remain. Unknown where are you? Come find me. Be beside me. Be part of me. Become one with me. Unknown Love me… treasure you. Unknown come to me. Be part of me like my mind and soul…u see those are things the once my physical is gone it will still remain. Unknown where are you? Come find me. Be beside me. Be part of me. Become one with me. Unknown Love me…

Created Using Android's PRO Paint Camera

Fragile

forgive me plz i kno he wont understand but this is the only way...y try to eat a spoiled dish.. y try to fix what cant be fixed, when my heart broke i tried to put it back together but i was missing pieces... ur name was on one of them

Feeling like a new person. My mind is made up. No more flip flopping. Conviction! Viva la LaWanda! And I stand towards the sun stareing it in the eyes screaming "I Shine in a place with no light. I touch your imbracable skin...I feel your warmth. Accept me for I have accepted you. Hello Impossible!"

Rent

Now that your gone a hollow space lingers in the deepths of my heart...
I miss you.
I asked you to stay but the obviously the demand wasn't stern enough
Hard enough....
Meaningful...enough....
Pounding depression regrets and denial. She isn't gone! She's just taking time off.
Lying to myself. With what help; my mind believing the lies I'm feeding.
Starving foe truth.
What's the use? Pointless fight through the night. While time speeds through on a steady flight....
I still miss you...
Acceptance will never know me. I refuse to let you die. Mentally.
The empty space travels daily in my heart.
I'm not giving this space away anymore. So when the next person leaves me I can simply tell myself...
I have room for rent......

hug

Hug: by me miss star Embrace me with the security of ur favorite kush like ur lips on the blunt… be bluntly grab me… hug me

Bourbon Street

My poem to Bourdon street I entered this place filled with sin creek up my back… she rolled sentually down my fingers Going thru both ears seducing me. I danced the motion she gave my body Poisonous throbbing pounding vessels tightening. Closer, Closer, Closer I feel her near me!
Lights hanging from every balcony… Temptation pulling your wants in! She takes you when your weakness shows its self. DRINKS, GIRLS, DANCE Her tattoos hypnotize you! The hair’s on the back of your neck lay flat from a kiss that drags you deeper!
Girls Drinks Dance Groove with her, hold her, have fun with the thought of knowing you have her in your hands. COMPLETE CONTROL Sin came to me… She was dancing drinking, a girl. Her names was Bourdon

poem for Granny R.i.paraise

Poem for Grandma…rest in paradise…..your in my features. I hear u in my smile my attitude, even my blood. I see u in my laughter my thoughts and in my courage. U are eternally there. Breathing and living and dancing and singing. U are in my hands the strenght I wish to hold. You are in my love so I give u to everyone. I cherish my hands…… an essence so familiar I can not find for it is gone, yet its still in me. In my attitude….my hands….my smile. I will live for you.